Tuesday, July 19, 2011

White Flag or Battle Cry?

I’m just about ready to throw in the towel. Nothing I do is ever good enough, so why do I constantly put in the effort? Why do I sabotage my own happiness to accommodate others when I know that not only will my efforts not be reciprocated, they will not be appreciated either. 

I wish I had the ability to shut off my “give-a-damn.” Maybe if I was the bitch they made me out to be I could stomach their abuse. Maybe if I start being as rude and hateful as they are to me I would feel empowered instead of held hostage. 

It’s hard not to miss the carefree days before I married into all of this bullshit. How is it now that my “family” has expanded I feel more alone? Who would have thought that all of the media exaggeration about how awful in-laws can be was so well rooted in reality.

1 comment:

  1. I am so sorry you are going through this crap Ash. I definitely do not think you should give in. You should not sabotage your happiness. You should not put up with their abuse. If anything, be the "bad guy" they already think you are. At least that's the route I've taken...and I am much happier for it.

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